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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Prologue: Long Live the Knife

The prologue to my historical novel, soon to be published.  Do read!  And do tell me just HOW MUCH you love it!  Or lie.  ;)  Writers are fragile.  They ignore what you say, if unkind.  hahah!  I began writing this story when I was seventeen & finished, a few arduous years later.  Nothing big.  While editing, I wished, many a time, that it was not sooo long.  Ack!  Next time, a short story!  ;)

"Mutilation had turned him into a monster, 
but all the qualities that embellished him made him an angel." 
Casanova writing of the castrato, Salimbeni
Frank Dicksee, An Offering

Venice, Italy 1815


I am going to kill Signor Guiciardi.
Secrets I have kept from you. Just like the secrets kept from me. I hated all for it.
Evviva il coltello! Let me explain. Such mocking worship. Long live the knife, they scream it wildly from the crowd when a castrato raises his unnatural voice to the heavens. The knife that defines the man with every cut of flesh.
I am truly the monster I always believed in. Will you still love me if I tell you the truth?
I must tell you.
By the hand of my own demons, I have been taught to truly love, but there is a vast chasm and it must always separate us.
Yet I am glad. It is like the dizzying sensation of losing too much blood, I am drained, at an exhausted peace. The lies flee me, with the writing of this letter. Truth crucifies. It is painful, yet it is the only thing that can bring on the end of my broken world. Christ knew the truth of the cross before I.
Perhaps I repulse you? A man committing treachery. Vile castrato. Perhaps that is the thing more horrifying. I am a perversion of God’s intention. I was mutilated by men and what I am is a mirror of how I have destroyed your life. The lies I regurgitated from my mouth to yours, I think of nothing else! I am haunted.
Signor Guiciardi is the one who told you the truth. These lies fed to you, began with him. Signor Cirocco, Signor Guiciardi; both have lied, he and I. Neither one of us is pure.
Even so, you are my savior, Claudia. Perhaps I am mad to discard all that you bequeathed so selflessly. All you have restored to me will be dashed into the gutter by this one act that I will commit, this one sin that I refuse to fight against. All so that I may have my revenge.
I love you, Claudia, yet this vengeance is what has consumed my soul from the moment I knew the truth of myself.
"And their blood shall be sprinkled upon My garments, and I will stain all My raiment. For the day of vengeance in Mine heart, and the year of My redeemed is come." Thus saith the Lord.
Well, the vengeance of Carmine Cirocco will fly on swifter wings, than those of the Lord. It is true, Claudia, yes. I am going to kill Signor Guiciardi.
There are other sculptors in the world. There are other men whom you may love. Forgive my excuses. Signor Guiciardi molded evil from my flesh. He is only reaping his reward. I know I shall reap mine, as murderers are wont to do. I will hang for his death. Reason has deserted my mind, only God can say if my soul has done the same.
I beg your forgiveness. I am all too terrified, that within your gentle soul, you will grant it, even unto such a wretched murderer as I.

Carmine Cirocco

~See you soon!~

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